Beginning Stages of Socialization

07-19-2010

I just returned home from picking up my son at his summer school. He is now attending a Catholic School with his brother (I love the school and will tell you in another post why I placed him there) and eating lunch with friends. When I walked onto the playground, I noticed a young girl looking at me then waving to Noah. "Bye Noah!" Noah returned the goodbye, gathered his belongings and slowly walked towards me. When I asked him, "What's wrong?" because he did not appear too happy, he was not ready to leave. He wanted to stay and continue socializing with his friends. I'm staring at him, thinking back to the time when he didn't have friends, when he didn't socialize, when he preferred to be left alone. This is one of the characteristics of autism - deficits with social skills. However, these deficits can be tackled and turned into strengths. He was able to master his social skills and as a result, befriend others.

So you might ask, "That's great and all but how did you do it?" Thinking back to when my son was around 5, I placed him in settings with other children - not too many kids but one or two along with his brother. (By the way, my son just asked "What are you doing? Are you typing something? Can you peel an orange?" - BRB) ...............................Anyway, some of the settings happen to be at my house, at a park, at an activity center, etc. I would provide a script (an interactive scenario) in which he would introduce himself ("Hi, My name is Noah," then ask the other person "Do you want to play?") Of course, this helped with his brother because he knew to just follow along by answering "Yes". This did not always work with other kids however because they did not always want to play with him. However, he did play (side to side or within the same area) as the other kids but perhaps not with the other kids. Of course, I did this often (usually on the weekends). My goal was to have him begin socializing with other children by introducing himself first, then asking the other child if he or she wanted to play. Simultaneously, I was trying to help him to improve his speech skills.

This is my suggestion - to begin building social skills, you don't just place a child with autism with "typical" kids and expect engagement. Nope, this will not happen. Rather give the child specific instruction (such as a script - show them how to interact) and give them an opportunity to practice the skills taught. Tell me if this works. I am curious if this helps others. - Tasha